


Evening Confessions

by shanachie



Series: First Kiss [5]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buddie First Kiss Week 2020, M/M, Prompt domestic, discussion of The Lawsuit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24557659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanachie/pseuds/shanachie
Summary: Eddie didn't realize what he wanted... until he did.
Series: First Kiss [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769095
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	Evening Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all... this is the first time I've gotten THIS far in a challenge like this! I've got the last two started... so here goes. (And I do have a second story for day 5, but I need to finish it...so it'll be posted when that happens.)

Eddie had expected to struggle through raising Christopher by himself after Shannon left. Even when she’d returned saying she wanted to try again, Eddie still hadn’t believed her and assumed he’d still be on his own for almost everything. After her death, Eddie had just devoted himself even more to Christopher. Despite the whole street fighting thing, he’d always tried to put Christopher first and the only thing he regretted more than the things he’d done since his return from Afghanistan was running out on Christopher after he was born.

But then there was Buck. It had been rough for a while; the truck bombing, the tsunami, and then the lawsuit and Eddie’s own fighting. It had taken a while, but they were finally back to their pre-everything relationship. There were no more awkward silences, no more space between them off the clock...and on the clock? They were a well-oiled machine again. And Buck was back to spending time with the Diaz boys whenever he was free.

Right now, Eddie sat at the kitchen table with a stack of bills and his phone. Buck had arrived about forty minutes prior to dinnertime with an armload of groceries and declared he was cooking for the three of them. Eddie hadn’t felt the need to argue. The kitchen still smelled like an Italian restaurant as the scent permeated the room; turning the normal household smells exotic as the spices rolled out from the oven and stove. If Eddie turned his head slightly, he could see Christopher at the coffee table working on a puzzle. Buck moved around the room, finishing up the dishes and tidying up the mess he’d made.

And with a jolt, Eddie realized this was what he wanted for the rest of his life. He stared down at the bills and realized he wanted to be sharing this with Buck. He wanted to discuss bills and have Buck share it with him, even as the other man cooked them dinner or cleaned up. He wanted to rely on Buck even more than he already did, for Christopher, for sanity… and for love.

Eddie turned to look at Buck, who was watching him, having finished cleaning up the mess he made. “What’cha thinking about?” Buck asked softly.

“Do I take advantage of you?” Eddie asked.

“What? No, of course not,” Buck hurried to assure him. “What brought this up?”

“I just realized you’ve cooked dinner every night we’ve been off this week. And probably more nights than I can remember prior to that.”

“I offered,” Buck said. “You aren’t taking advantage of me.”

“And you want to be here, right?” Eddie pressed.

Buck frowned. “What brought this on?”

Eddie shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. “Just. Wouldn’t you rather be out…?” He waved a hand towards the door as if trying to illustrate it. “Out. Partying? Meeting girls? Doing… I don’t know… other things?”

Buck dropped into the seat next to Eddie. “What brought this on?” he repeated and when Eddie didn’t respond, he said, “I don’t _want_ to be out partying. I made my decision after everything. And it’s not like I’ve never been partying; you’ve heard the stories about Buck 1.0. There’s no place I’d rather be than here with you and Christopher.”

Eddie smiled as Buck finished his answer. “I’d rather have you here than any other place,” he admitted.

“So why are you asking all these questions?” Buck asked.

The darker haired man glanced at the living room, but Christopher was still completely involved in his puzzle. When he looked back at Buck, he wasn’t surprised to find the other man’s gaze switching back to his. He appreciated how much Buck loved and watched out for Christopher. It was one of the reasons he had fallen in love with Buck.

“I just wanted to make sure you were where you wanted to be,” he finally replied.

“Eddie?” Buck reached out and touched his arm. “You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you. If I’m here too much and you need a break, you just need to say so.”

Eddie immediately realized what Buck was implying. “I am so sorry I ever said that to you. I was angry and upset and…” Eddie shook his head. “I never should have said that. _You_ are not exhausting.”

Buck shook his head. “You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it on some level.”

Eddie wanted to bang his head against something. Or maybe Buck’s since the other man wasn’t listening to him. “Buck. I was…” He paused, attempting to formulate his words, but decided it was best to speak and not think for once. “When I said that, I was _mad_ so very mad. At you, at me, hell, even at Christopher because he was asking me almost hourly where you were. I said it because, at that time, I wanted you to hurt as much as I did. And I’ve regretted it almost every moment since.”

“I was hurting. I didn’t think _that_ part through. I didn’t realize I wouldn’t be allowed to have _any_ contact with all of you. I just wanted to get back to you, to the job, to have everything go back to normal.” Buck tugged at his own hair. “I went to that store _just_ to see you. I knew you’d be there because that was when Bobby did his grocery runs if there wasn’t a call.”

“Can we both admit we were wrong? And move past this? Finally?” Eddie wanted to reach out and touch Buck, but wasn’t sure if his touch would be welcome at this moment. “I forgave you a long time ago.”

“So if it wasn’t that, what’s been bugging you today?” Buck asked.

Eddie sighed. He was pretty sure he could wave if off with talks of long shifts and less sleep, but he wanted to take this moment. Even if Buck didn’t want what he wanted; Eddie was secure enough in their friendship that he knew it might be awkward for a few days, but they’d come out strong on the other side. And if Buck _did_ want what he wanted, the future couldn’t be brighter.

“I was happy,” Eddie said. “And, for the first time in a long time, I recognized that happiness.”

Buck frowned. “You say ‘was’ and won’t tell me what. Are you no longer happy now?”

“I am.” Eddie sighed. “And I’ll be happy later. But…” He turned his gaze away from Buck’s gaze. “But eventually you’ll leave. You may not even mean to, but you’ll meet someone and leave.”

Buck reached out, stopping just short of touching Eddie. “What if I’ve already found someone?” he asked.

Eddie’s shoulders slumped. “Then you’ll leave even sooner.”

“Eddie? Look at me?” Buck asked. When Eddie turned, he said, “I found you.” Eddie opened his mouth to answer, but Buck continued, “And if this is all I get?” He motioned between them to indicate their space and then Christopher still involved with his puzzle in the other room. “If I can never have more than I have right now? I’m happy.”

“What...” Eddie stumbled for a moment. “What if there could be more?”

Realizing they were _finally_ on the same page in the same instance, Buck leaned towards Eddie. For a second, their noses bumped and their mouths weren’t lined up, but Eddie brought his hands up, cupping Buck’s face and holding him still. When their lips met this time, it felt like coming home.

Buck’s fingers dug into Eddie’s thighs, pulling a whine from the older man. Their only connections were their hands and mouths and it wasn’t enough. Refusing to lose contact with where he was slowly mapping Buck’s mouth, Eddie leaned farther towards him until Buck moved his hands, tugging Eddie out of his chair.

Buck moved his chair back, giving them enough room to maneuver, and huffed as Eddie landed in his lap. His hands free now, Buck took advantage, slipping them under Eddie’s shirt and stroking the skin he found. Eddie whined again, pushing his body forward into Buck’s, both of them gasping when he inadvertently lined their still-clothed cocks up. Buck slid his hands down, ghosting over Eddie’s back until he could grab handfuls of the other man’s ass, pulling Eddie even closer.

Eddie broke away from Buck’s mouth, his teeth grazing the jaw so temptingly in front of him, causing Buck to raise his chin, baring his neck. Eddie was aiming for his pulse point, wanting to see if his mouth on that tender spot would get a reaction, when a noise came from the other room.

Both men froze, their gazes meeting as they waited to see what had caused the noise. Unable to figure it out, Eddie pulled away, swinging his legs over Buck’s and getting stiffly to his feet. Buck whined when he couldn’t feel the heat or weight of the other man covering him and reached towards Eddie. When Eddie simply sat down in the other chair, Buck frowned, and asked, “What happened?”

“Christopher,” Eddie answered, his voice husky from arousal. An arousal that was swiftly fading at the reminder of his son.

Buck’s blue eyes widened and his gaze darted towards the other room. Thankfully Christopher was still working on his puzzle, humming happily to himself. “I’m sorry... I didn’t even think.”

Eddie chuckled softly. “Not like I was thinking either.” He bent, pressing a quick kiss to Buck’s lips. “And I don’t regret it. At all. Can we table this until later? Stay tonight?”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed, his answer almost drowned out by Christopher’s crutches.

The two men exchanged glances as Christopher made his way into the kitchen. “Daddy,” he said. He smiled when he realized Eddie wasn’t alone in the kitchen.

Eddie couldn’t resist scooping him up, knowing that he was already starting to say he was too big. “Yes, Christopher?” he asked. “Did you finish your puzzle?”

Christopher shook his head before looking around Eddie to see Buck. “No. Buck, can you come help me?”

“I’d love to,” Buck answered, taking him from Eddie.

“You’ve got ten minutes until bedtime,” Eddie told him as the two turned towards the living room.

“I’ve got it,” Buck told him. “You finish with those bills so we can continue our conversation.”

Eddie dropped back into his chair as the two… _his_ two left the kitchen. Maybe he’d get to have it after all. He’d get to have everything with Buck. He glanced down at the stack of bills, knowing that in a few months he wouldn’t be doing this alone. He smiled, reaching for the next one that needed payment. The sooner he got these done, the sooner he and Buck could finish their _conversation_.


End file.
